Our Changing Conception of What Dating is

ImageWhy do women think they have to sleep with every person they date? Over the last few weeks I’ve had numerous conversations with multiple females about their dating life. Every one of them has admitted to sleeping with one or all of the men they are dating. They claim they know it was wrong but still decided to go through with it. During the conversations with each one of them, half the time I was trying to remember names or specifics about each man so that I could keep up. It made me ask myself, what is dating?

“Dating is a form of courtship consisting of social activities done by two people with the aim of each assessing the other’s suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse.” -Wikipedia

Dating used to consist of speaking on the phone with the person of interest, that person asking you to go out with them and them alone, the two of you engaging in meaningful conversation, enjoying one another’s company and getting to know each other. That doesn’t seem to be the case anymore. Dating in this day in age seems to only consist of sex. It seems in our generation we don’t realize that we can date multiple people and don’t have to sleep with all of them. Honestly, you don’t have to sleep with any of them. When dating, yes you are romantically or sexually attracted to the person but the objective is to make a decision on whether or not you and that person are compatible mentally and emotionally, and long term at that.

It’s supposed to consist of social outings between two people. Nowadays the dating scene lacks intimate encounters and mostly consists of group outings. People rarely pick up the phone to ask someone on a date anymore they simply text, tweet, or use other social networks to communicate. Usually the only intimacy between two people on a “date” is when they are engaging in sexual relations. If you are sleeping with everyone you date how can you be sure that things aren’t solely based on sex? How do you know that this is someone that you want to deal with long term if you know little about them besides what type of underclothes they wear?

When you’re dating multiple people you are never giving your complete all to one person so you will always lack something. I understand its tough putting all your eggs into one basket but sometimes that’s a risk you have to take. After multiple dates and conversations with a person you should eventually get a feel for them and be able to decide whether or not you are compatible. If you aren’t, you should move on. If you feel they are a match, at some point you have to make the decision to be exclusive so that you can begin to give 100% of your time and attention to them.

Now, if you feel they are someone that you could deal with long term you obviously need to make sure that the two of you are on the same page. If you have different intentions then clearly it’s not something you should continue to pursue. It seems many tend to waste time on people that don’t have any intentions of being exclusive with them. I would like to hear some other point of views on the topic. What is dating to you?


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